May 2013
the-laughing-cactus:
jaclcfrost:
if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
rabioheab:
earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that
things I can’t imagine
someone having a crush on me
someone randomly seeing me and thinking ‘wow she’s cute’
someone getting happy because I messaged them first
someone thinking about me, in general
someone wondering how I am
someone finding me attractive
someone doing something to try and impress me
someone asking their friend on what to say to me
someone wanting to get to know me
thepensivebrony:
“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”
finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
cofeecigarettes:
cj-twig:
i want kids but i dont wanna be pregnant or give birth but i dont wanna adopt either because i want them to be mine do you see my problem
basically you want to be a father
this is the most accurate thing i ever read
Oliver Sykes: I have a penis tattooed on my leg, and high five tattooed on my palm. I don't regret them yet, but I'm sure when my children disown me as a father, I may have some remorse.
africans:
i drop a piece of weed and it fell in a spider web and the spider was like “my nigga” and we fist pounded
fizzyginger:
If Prince Charles’s ringtone isn’t I Just Can’t Wait to be King then what’s the point
clamperl:
clamperl:
I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW AND I LOST THE NOTES
from zero to internet explorer how ignored do you feel
white pencil crayon.
Terms and Conditions.
Warning label on cookie dough packages.
“You must be 18 or older” webpage warnings
myspace
crocs
First piece of bread in a loaf.
twoidjitsinthetardis:
thiskittydied:
boygrimlark:
scout-ebubbles:
docot:
freddybenson:
leovaldezstyle:
freddybenson:
A
B
C
the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours
D
E
F
G
benedictedcumberbabeof221:
mighty-thor-of-assgard:
danniauttumns:
ser-merlin-of-valyria:
tumblr has fallen
david karp is dead
yahoo is coming
your second sentence only has 5 syllables. Haiku fail. Though… they all do have 5, poem pass, haiku fail.
it wasn’t a haiku, it was a harry potter reference:
“the ministry has fallen
scrimgeour is dead
they are coming.”
british: american people are so annoying
chinese: american people are so annoying
mexicans: american people are so annoying
french: american people are so annoying
americans: we are so annoying
canadians: I fucking love maple syrup
australians: we can do your accent but none of you assholes can do ours AHAHAHAHA
basedona10000caloriediet:
kinzilauren:
maarkhoppus:
caucasianandwhite:
maarkhoppus:
fall out boy, paramore and justin timberlake on the iTunes top 10 charts wow hello 2006
i wasnt even alive in 2006
why the fuck is a six year old on tumblr
3 tags
so i’m in my cousin’s wedding and the freaking dresses she has the bridesmaids wearing make us all look like fat, pink whales
it’s terrible
austingabe:
I want Danny to just w r e c k Ethan. Like emotionally and physically. I want him to ache when he’s away from Danny, n-e-e-d him by his side. I want him craving Danny’s touch and comfort to make him feel complete. I want him crying because he didn’t know it would be this way, and I want him begging for Danny to just come to their side quietly because he can’t kill him and he can’t...
robertoluongo:
in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
flutterlings:
the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”
roughrimjob:
beggin for the d like
silabus:
do you ever just realize how bad your voice sounds
bitcorn:
just saw a guy wearing a nirvana t-shirt lmfao i bet cant even name three noble truths of buddhism
